Why are girls so wussy when it comes to love? For once Id like a girl that i like to say "Hey, I like you. You should take me out sometime" and then wink twice, or just say "wink, wink".

How come some girls got issues with ex-boyfriends? Yanno why theyre called ex-boyfriends right? Because youre sposed to draw a big X through them and throw em in the garbage.

How can a girl be afraid to talk to me in the presence of her ex-boyfriend? Why are you even with him, and then why must you be emotionally muted around him? Is that any way to have fun? Im much more fun than that guy, just read my friendster profile, or hey just gimme some alcohol.

Whats with the girls who dig fat guys? It seems like Ive always been haunted by the hot chick i like that likes the fat guy. I dont mean like Fat Albert fat, just yanno overweight. Hows that sposed to make a guy feel when hes worked so hard to not eat like a pig and sit on his ass every day of the week? Ive actually lost 10 pounds since high school, take that freshman 15!

My buddy is selling knives for money right now. I cant help but rain on his parade because hes so proud of his product. He actually has the nerve to go to peoples houses and try to sell them $1500 knives without thinking he'll be landing facefirst on the doormat. Who in their right mind buys a set of knives for $1500? "Theyre guaranteed for life" he says. How many $20 knives does one go through in a lifetime? "They can cut through a car door" he says. Right, well next time im locked in a bank vault ill give you a call.... $1500 for knives...rediculous

Me and my buddy Gus have come to the conclusion that gang members are just mean kids that are really bad at sports. The other day a wanna-be thug that looked about 14 wanted to fight me in front of In N Out cuz i was laughing at him when he savagely (and pathetically) punched another middle school kid in the back when he wasnt looking. Then when i laughed at him some more, he made a comment about getting a gun and then i wouldnt be laughing. Then i thought "what are you gonna do, ride your bike home and get it? Its not in your car, because you are obviously too young to drive. I could beat your ass right now and just hop in the car and laugh all the way home!" Ahhh testosterone....