I went to Carl's Junior today and asked for mustard, they didnt have it. How can they have honey mustard, yet no mustard? Or honey for that matter.....

They should have the ATMs on campus spit out 10s as well as 20s. Im too poor to take out 20 man.

What are those black paper clip things called?

People who go backpacking in the mountains are stupid. Just get a shopping cart!

Oh yeah i got my suit for formal. A nice little charcoal DKNY number. Its pimp

I hate when my roommate takes the tv controller and put it by the tv when he leaves. If you put the controller by the tv, isnt it obsolete? The first word in "remote control" doesnt apply anymore.....

why do people put the "sold" sign on top of the wooden for sale sign? Why not just take the whole thing down?

I got the best ever "...In Bed" fortune ever at the DC: "The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do" .... In bed!

Ever notice that the Monopoly guy looks just like the Pringles guy, but older?

Yahoo! Do people with prosthetic legs wear socks?

My roommate is a lazy piece of shit, all he does is watch tv. He seems to be getting closer and closer too, one day I think he's gonna poke his eye out on the screen...

Are 4 blades really necessary on a razor? Geez

what's up with those machines that they slide your drivers license in to see if you're really 18? Its like "yeah we acknowledge that the people at 7-11 aren't smart enough to simply look at the drivers license, lets spend millions of dollars on machines to read licenses" Why don't they just teach the machines to give change and refill the slurpee machine too? Problem solved...

Idea of the Day: Tinted contact lenses. Why wear sunglasses? They can be IN your eyes!