So Im chillin in my room tonight listening to music and my mom rushes in and asks me if i heard the water running today. I politely say no as she continues to tell me about how my dad left the water on all day. Then she says i should listen for running water and investigate it. I told her that her and my dad should investigate turning the knob off when they leave the faucets.

Of course that brought on a huge lecture about how much the water bill will be if people leave the water on. I asked her how I was involved; I had not left the water on, I didnt hear the water on and leave it on, I dont pay the bill.

So my mom leaves and somehow translates the conversation in parent language to my dad and he comes in fuming..."If you hear the water on, turn if off!" Something about that sentence and the context just didnt pan out well in my mind. Why is he telling me things that are common knowledge? I yelled back "If youre out of breath, then Breathe!"

......Parents just dont understand.....

Have u ever been at home outside and thought "damn im glad i didnt lock the door" only to realize that it isnt a dorm room and you couldnt have locked it wihtout your key anyway?

Whats with headlines like "Scientist may have found Nefertiti mummy"? It's not news until he does dammit. I may have a million dollar bill in my wallet next time i look, but i dont waste web space with speculation like that..... Oh wait....

I know Ive played too much counter-strike lately because everytime i turn a corner or pass a big crate, i look to see if someone is hiding there waiting to shoot me....


Random thoughts from college students like me:

How come the only thing you can ever find to stir mixed drinks in your dorm room is a pen? You might as well tell some random kid at the party to stick his hand in your drink and stir for you, considering you probably found the pen on the floor after class or dropped it on the floor yourself…numerous times. Just another reason why college kids get sick all the time I’m sure.

Why is it that there is always one hanger on the floor in my dorm room that will get stepped on and mangled for two weeks before someone picks it up and throws it away?

Everyone without a printer has at least one "printer pal." This is the person who you can always count on to borrow some paper and print out your homework. Everyone WITH a printer has at least one "printing asshole." These are the people who always drain your fucking paper supply every time they feel like printing something out.

This is pretty random, but you know those sanitary toilet-seat covers in public restrooms? Why the hell is do you have to punch out the centers of them? Were they just too lazy to finish cutting them out?! And then, are you supposed to tear it out completely or so that it’s still attached to the back? What the fuck!

Here is a true story: One of my friends at another school wrote calculus formulas on his hand the night before the exam to help him study. Only problem was, he used a permanent-type marker so apparently they wouldn’t wash off completely before the exam. He got so nervous about getting busted for cheating that he went early to the exam and explained to the professor why he would be wearing a glove for the duration of the exam. And there’s just about nothing more retarded than wearing one fucking glove during an exam. Except if he had only had a mitten and then kept dropping his pencil because he couldn’t hold it right.

^ When i read that one, i was like wtf, how could he write stuff on his writing hand... guess that guy didnt think about it too much haha