I had the weirdest dream last night. I was playing basketball with some friends and some NBA players and then the game ended cuz my team won. Then my dream just like ended! I think that was the first time i can remember that a dream ended before i woke up, and not because I woke up. It was weird cuz i remember being asleep and the dream was over, and I was like, well i guess Ill just wake up now. But it was only 1 AM. So I just went back to sleep. That was weird.

One of the greatest inventions ever is the long-handled spoon. How else would you get the last bit of ice cream out of the carton without using a scoop. Theres nothing worse than vanilla wrists.

When they were designing the keyboard, why did they have to put the period right next to the comma? I cant count how many times I've pressed the wrong one,

My friend Katie is like a game. Its hard to figure her out, shes like Carmen SanDiego, but instead shes Katie Sacramento. Please read the first short story of the game of Katie Sacramento:

Katie was talking to me on AIM and she told me she sent herself a letter from home to her mailbox at school. Instantly my curiosity got the best of me and i began asking her what it might be. First i thought it could be her room key so she doesnt forget to take it back to Sac with her. Then i thought if her roomkey was in her mailbox, then she couldnt open it, so thats no good. Then i thought it could be a shopping list. College kids need to do a lot of shopping after being home for 5 weeks. Then i thought it was a password to something she has to do on the computer... passwords are hard to remember. She kept telling me no, so i had to think harder. "A treasure map!" I asked. People are always forgetting where treasure is, thats why they make maps. Maybe she was afraid pirates would steal it if she took it with her instead of mailing it. I'm still working on what it might be, you can help me out if you wish.

To Be Continued. (Probably Not)

How come it takes 5 minutes to open a cd the first time? Imagine if they wrapped everything like this... Christmas would be a week long.

Why do football analysts try to predict the exact score of an upcoming football game? They know they'll never get it right, and if they do, nobody is gonna care...

One of my new favorite things to do is to go on ebay and fuck with people. Ill go to a really expensive luxury car that has a lot of bids and a lot of time left. Ill bid slightly above the highest bid knowing that i wont win the car, but make the winning bidder pay a bit more for the car he has won... Haha Im an asshole...

This is sooooooo true:

"Guys will watch any television show that involves ranking. Top ten plays, fifty greatest movies, hundred richest men, anything. Hell, one of my favorite shows is "Around the Horn" on ESPN where they argue about arguing about sports. And get ranked at the end." - From "Ruminations" by Aaron Karo

These too...

"Guys will attempt to get anything delivered. I've overhead friends on the phone trying to convince flustered shop owners to deliver beer, liquor, porn, video games and even food orders that totaled less than two dollars...with tax.

-Guys also have no perception of when stores close. If we're hungry, we believe someone out there should be willing to provide food. Ever see a drunk guy banging on the door of a pizza shop at 5:30am? It's pretty sad. Of course, then he just goes home and tries to get it delivered."

I went to the Optometrist and the infamous "puff test". Whats with that anyway? I think its just a long-standing joke optometrists play on everyday people.

Has your mom ever been pissed at you for leaving an empty milk carton in the fridge or an empty box in the cupboard? My mom gets mad at me all the time for that, shes says its inconsiderate. I claim the opposite! How else are you going to remember that theres no more Ritz crackers unless you experience firsthand the empty box? How would you know who ate the last package if you never realized they were gone? Its like my calling card, she knows its me. I leave it there because i care....

Ever notice almost all types of alcohol have short, easy to pronounce names? Beer, Rum, Gin, Ale, Vod-Ka, Brand-y, Whisk-y, Schnapps! I guess a long time ago the advertising people for alcoholic beverages realized that after someone consumed their beverage, they were having a hard time communicating the name of it to their friends, and missing out on free word-of-mouth advertising...

Yay for new years! its funny how so many people celebrate a holiday that is so unmeaningful. Yay a new calendar year!

Nexus (friends from high school that made a band) has a few new songs up on their site. http://www.nexusconnection.com/music.htm